More than Words ~ by Erin Wathen

More than Words: 10 Values for the Modern Family ~ by Erin Wathen, 2017, relationships

The values we live and raise our families by are grounded, first, in love.  Contrary to many of today's so-called family values, our values go beyond one or two loaded social issues to a wholehearted lifestyle of practicing compassion, hospitality, justice, peace, and belonging.

This book articulates ten values that forward-thinking, openhearted people want to embody in their lives and pass on to their children.  With practical ideas and thought-provoking questions, this book inspires families to live more intentionally, engage their communities, and make a difference in the world.

Click each chapter to find the discussion questions:

1.  Compassion: Love in Action

2.  Abundance: The Root of Gratitude and Generosity

3.  Sabbath: Reclaiming Time to Be, and Be Together

4.  Nonviolence: Beyond Turning the Other Cheek

5.  Joy: Living with Creativity and Purpose

6.  Justice: More than Mercy

7.  Community: The Art of Neighboring

8.  Forgiveness: The Daily Bread of Relationships

9.  Equality: Made in God's Image

10. Authenticity: Being Who You Are

* Erin Wathen's website, including her Home and Holler blog.

Now What? Continuing the Work after Day 28

What do you do with your Me and White Supremacy journal?

• Return to the prompts again and again, going deeper each time.

Keep learning.

• Attend workshops.
• Take courses.
• Find articles.
• Read books (see the list on pp. 231-233, but also look for new books that are being published).
• Listen to podcasts (start with the list on p. 234).
• View films and documentaries (a few are listed on p. 234).
• Make lifelong learning about antiracism a goal.
• Check out all the Resources at the end of this book.

Show up for BIPOC.

• at meetings.
• at rallies.
• at marches.
• at fund-raisers.

Financially support those working for BIPOC rights.

• organizations.
• nonprofits.
• political candidates.

Live your commitments with integrity for your antiracist values.

• Challenge systems.
• Work to create structural changes.
• Dismantle white supremacy institutionally as well as personally.
• Do the work that you CAN do every day to create the change the world needs by creating change within yourself.
• Help change the world.

Work in groups (see the Appendix).

• Learn about The Circle Way (p. 213).

This chart is found on p. 217 (with "Hosting" and "Invitation" reversed).

Here's the link to The Circle Way found on page 212 in the Appendix
and links to the book's website, author's page, and her blog.

Week 4: Power, Relationships, and Commitments

Day 22: You and White Feminism

"If feminism can understand the patriarchy, it's imprt to question why so many feminists struggle to understand whiteness as a political structure in the very same way." — Reni Eddo-Lodge, Why I' No Longer Talking to White People about Race

Day 23: You and White Leaders

"If we don't challenge each other to use our platforms for better than our niches or what our quote-unquote brand is, what are we doing as influencers?  If we can't activate our audiences at the times it's important or needed, then what do we have these platforms for?" — Luvvie Ajayi

Day 24: You and Your Friends

"There is no social-change fairy.  There is only change made by the hands of individuals." — Winona LaDuke

Day 25: You and Your Family

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion.  People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." — Nelson Mandela

Day 26: You and Your Values

"Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public." — Cornel West

Day 27: You and Losing Privilege

"Whitness is an advantage and privilege because you have made it so, not because the universe demands it." — Michael Eric Dyson, Tears We CAnnot Stop: A Sermon to White America

Day 28: You and Your Commitments

"The relevant question is not whether all Whites are racist but how we can move move White people from a position of active or passive racism to one of active antiracism." — Beverly Daniel Tatum, Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

Footnote — The overview blog post for this book is found at this link:

Me and White Supremacy ~ by Layla F. Saad

Week 3: Allyship

Day 15: You and White Apathy

"Our humanity is worth a little discomfort, it's actually worth a lot of discomfort." — Ijeoma Oluo

Day 16: You and White Centering

"I have had reviews in the past that have accused me of not writing about white people ... as though our lives have no meaning and no depth without the white gaze.  And I've spent my entire writing life trying to make sure that the white gaze was not the dominant one in any of my books." — Toni Morrison

Day 17: You and Tokenism

"The norm is white, apparently, in the view of people who see things in that way.  For them, the only reason you would introduce a black charater is to introduce this kind of abnormality.  Usually, it's because you're telling a story about racism or at least race." — Octavia Butler

Day 18: You and White Saviorism

"Funny.  Slave masters thought they wer making a difference in black peple's lives too.  Saving them from their 'wild African ways.'  Same shit, different century.  I wish people like them would stop thinking that people like me need saving." — Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give

Day 19: You and Optical Allyship

"Racism should never have happened and so you don't get a cookie for reducing it." — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah

Day 20: You and Being Called Out/Called In

"Mistakes are a fact of life.  It is the response to error that counts." — Nikki Giovanni

Day 21: Week 3 Review

"Do the best you can until you know better.  Then when you know better, do better." — Maya Angelou

Footnote — The overview blog post for this book is found at this link:

Me and White Supremacy ~ by Layla F. Saad

Week 2: Anti-Blackness, Racial Stereotypes, and Cultural Appropriation

Day 8: You and Color Blindness

"White people think it is a compliment when they do not 'see' you as a black person." — Morgan Jerkins, This Will Be My Undoing

Day 9: You and Anti-Blackness against Black Women

"Black women know what it means to love ourselves in a world that hates us." — Brittney Cooper, Eloquent Rage

Day 10: You and Anti-Blackness against Black Men

"Because white men can't police their imagination, black men are dying." — Claudia Rankine, Citizen: An American Lyric

Day 11: You and Anti-Blackness against Black Children

"Black people love their hildren with a kind of obsession.  You are all we have, and you come to us endangered." — Ta-Nehisi Coates, Between the World and Me

Day 12: You and Racist Stereotypes

"We think them Barbarians
Beautiful and scaring them
Earth shakin' rattling
Be wild out loud again"
— Mona Haydar

Day 13: You and Cultural Appropriation

"When you're a member of the privileged group, you don't take kindly to someone telling you that you can't do something."
— Tim Wise, White Like Me

Day 14: Week 2 Review

To see the whole picture, we have to look at each piece in turn and see the entire story being told.

Footnote — The overview blog post for this book is found at this link:

Me and White Supremacy ~ by Layla F. Saad

Week 1: The Basics

Day 1: You and White Privilege

"I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group." — Peggy McIntosh

Day 2: You and White Fragility

"It is white people's resposibility to be less fragile; People of Color don't need to twist themselves into knots trying to navigate us as painlessly as possible." — Robin DiAngelo

Day 3: You and Tone Policing

"I speak out of direct and particular anger at an academic conference, and a white woman says, 'Tell me how you feel but don't say it too harshly or I cannot hear you.'  But is it my manner that keeps her from hearing, or the threat of a message that her life may change?" — Audre Lorde

Day 4: You and White Silence

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people." — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Day 5: You and White Superiority

"When I got honest with myself, I had to own up to the fact that I'd bought into the myth of white superiority, silently and privately, explaining to myself the pattern of white dominance I observed as a natural outgrowth of biologically wired superior white intelligence and ability." — Debby Irving

Day 6: You and White Exceptionalism

"White people desperately want to believe than only the lonely, isolated 'whites only' club members are racist.  This is why the word racist offends 'nice white people' so deeply.  It challenges their self-identification as good people.  Sadly, most white people are more worried about being called racist than about whether or not their actions are in fact racist or harmful." — Austin Channing Brown

Day 7: Week 1 Review

Step back and take stock of what you have learned so far.

Footnote — The overview blog post for this book is found at this link:

Me and White Supremacy ~ by Layla F. Saad

Me and White Supremacy ~ by Layla F. Saad

Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor ~ by Layla F. Saad, 2020, race relations

This book challenges white people to do the essential work of unpacking our biases, and helps us dismantle the privilege within ourselves so that we can stop (often unconsciously) inflicting damage on people of color.  And it shows us, in turn, how to help other white people do better, too.  It gives us the language to understand racism and to dismantle our own biases by walking step-by-step through the work of individually examining:

• My own white privilege
• What allyship really means
• Anti-blackness, racial stereotypes, and cultural appropriation
• How to change the way I view and respond to race
• How to continue the work to create social change

Table of Contents

Foreword ~ by Robin DiAngelo

Part I:  Welcome to the Work

• A Little about Me
• What Is White Supremacy?
• Who Is This Work For?
• What You Will Need to Do This Work
• How to Use This Book
• Self-Care, Support, and Sustainability

Part II:  The Work

• Week 1:  The Basics
• Week 2:  Anti-Blackness, Racial Stereotypes, and Cultural Appropriation
• Week 3:  Allyship
• Week 4:  Power, Relationships, and Commitments
• Now What?  Continuing the Work after Day 28

Appendix:  Working in Groups: Me and White Supremacy Book Circles

Resources

• Glossary
• Further Learning

Notes
Acknowledgments
About the Author

Links to the book's website, author's page, and her blog.