Discussion on Windfalls

I check our board each day for more discussion and sure do miss hearing the insights from others.

Here are some responses from me to the questions Bonnie posted:

2. Melody ~ Melody burned herself on "the red spiral of the element" (pp. 133-134), just as Cerise had burned herself "against the hot edge of the iron" (pp. 21-22), leaving "stripes on Cerise's wrists [that]turned to scabs" (p. 30). Why do people do things like this? A young woman told me once that cutting herself was less painful than her life, but I don't understand that thinking at all.

Although I hope that I never reach the point of feeling that discouraged with life, I somewhat understand what this thinking is about. Basically, the physical pain is less than the emotional pain that they are going through. I don't know if the self-inflicted physical pain is their way to trying to draw attention to their pain to others or if it is a diversionary tactic hoping that the physical pain will make it easier to cope with the emotional pain. I suspect it is more the latter than the former as it seems that no one around cared enough to even notice the scars.

3. NICU ~ When Ellen was born (pp. 137-146), she was rushed to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Have you ever been in an NICU? Tell us about it.
4. Respirator ~ One of my granddaughters (not the one I mentioned last week) was in the NICU for the first days of her life and then was on a respirator, like Ellen. If you have experienced anything like this, please share.
The first three days of Ellen's life, the alarm on her respirator rang so many times that Anna got almost used to the sickening flush of terror that swept over her each time it sounded. (p. 153)

Although my oldest son was not in an NICU or on a respirator, he was transferred to a regional medical center when he was six days old and placed on oxygen because of the hole in his lungs. Walking around the unit and seeing all of the babies in such sad shape was very difficult. My son looked perfectly normal and I could hold him for intervals during feeding. When I expressed my sorrow to one of the nurses, she said that the babies all had a good chance of making it or they wouldn't have been transferred to the medical center. Those with no hope were not transferred. I was surprised at how hard my dear son tried to free himself from the oxygen device (sort of an upside down transparent dish tub was what was over the top of his body)by scooching out of the device. Although this was the first time the oxygen therapy had worked at this medical center, it worked for Brendan and he did not have to have the surgery that was scheduled to remove a third of his lungs. We were sent home and he lived what we thought was a healthy life, but only for 29 years when he died unexpectedly of cardiomyopathy.

5. Cerise ~ After the fire in the trailer (pp. 157-160), Travis suffered "respiratory insufficiency (p. 164) before he died (p. 171). That's hell in itself for a mother, but can you put yourself in Cerise's shoes enough to understand what she did after that?
I can understand why she wanted to get away from everyone. I could relate all too well. Except I was fortunate in that I had people around me who did care and who also loved my son. It is better to have people around who care yet at the same time, I can appreciate why she would just want to get away from all the memories of the tragedy and suffering that she had just gone through.

6. Homeless ~ What would it be like to know, suddenly, that you were quite literally homeless? What would you do?
It would be horrible. If I knew of no one who could help me, I would probably seek a homeless shelter.


I hope that other posters will start posting. I sure miss the dialogue.

Shirley

Books to Consider

I have read positive reviews of Tony Earley's books Jim the Boy which came out several years ago and the follow up book The Blue Star which picks up later in the character's life. Perhaps we could read Jim the Boy and then if we like that we could read The Blue Star at a later date.

Windfalls ~ questions for "Beyond the End of Everything" section

*** SPOILER ***
If you are still waiting for the book to arrive,
don't read this post until later.
This was a very hard section to read, and I have several areas for our discussion.

1. Travis ~ The battery in his talking toy is already starting to lose strength. This is a biggie, so don't fail to notice it. Cerise noticed the toy, but did not question why the battery was running down so quickly.

It sounded a little slow, the voice wearier than it had been the day before. Even though Travis would probably have another tantrum, Cerise hoped that meant the battery Melody had got for it was finally wearing out. She hated that toy. (p. 150)

2. Melody ~ Melody burned herself on "the red spiral of the element" (pp. 133-134), just as Cerise had burned herself "against the hot edge of the iron" (pp. 21-22), leaving "stripes on Cerise's wrists [that]turned to scabs" (p. 30). Why do people do things like this? A young woman told me once that cutting herself was less painful than her life, but I don't understand that thinking at all.

3. NICU ~ When Ellen was born (pp. 137-146), she was rushed to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Have you ever been in an NICU? Tell us about it.


4. Respirator ~ One of my granddaughters (not the one I mentioned last week) was in the NICU for the first days of her life and then was on a respirator, like Ellen. If you have experienced anything like this, please share.

The first three days of Ellen's life, the alarm on her respirator rang so many times that Anna got almost used to the sickening flush of terror that swept over her each time it sounded. (p. 153)

5. Cerise ~ After the fire in the trailer (pp. 157-160), Travis suffered "respiratory insufficiency" (p. 164) before he died (p. 171). That's hell in itself for a mother, but can you put yourself in Cerise's shoes enough to understand what she did after that?

Someone was speaking from the doorway. It was the young nurse ... Timidly she said, "We've called Travis's father, Ms. Johnson. And sent for the social worker and the chaplain. They'll be here any minute to talk to you. Is there anything -- should I stay with you until they come?"

Savagely Cerise shook her head. She didn't want the nurse to stay with her, didn't want to have to see Jake or the chaplain or the social worker, didn't want to have to do any of the things words were used to do -- explain, defend, excuse, or soothe. She wanted to be as alone in the room as she was in her anguish, wanted only to scream and howl and moan. But the nurse's question had diminished her to silence. ...

She bent to kiss him [Travis], but the thought came that she was kissing him good-bye, and her body convulsed, propelling her back from that abyss. She turned and stumbled from the room ... (p. 172).

6. Homeless ~ What would it be like to know, suddenly, that you were quite literally homeless? What would you do?

It was not until she stood on the street that she realized she had nowhere to go. ... She began to walk ... (p. 173).

Which book for June?

Shirley asked, "Which book are we reading for June?"

The question is now open for discussion. I'm not recommending a book yet, so that means you'll have to make a suggestion ... or two ... or three. We need titles quickly, so we can choose one of them.

More about Masha

Here's an interview with Masha Hamilton which includes information about her switch from journalism to writing fiction.

Take a look at Masha's Amazon Blog, which has more information about the Camel Book Drive.

I recently finished reading Masha's second novel, The Distance Between Us, published in 2004. Now I want to read her first novel, Staircase of a Thousand Steps, published in 2001.

Especially, read MashaHamilton.com and learn about all her books.

June Book

Which book are we reading for June?

WF

Bonnie noted: "It's interesting that what we notice in reading concerns whatever is going on in our lives at that time."
I have also found too that what really stands out in reading are things that are relevant to me at that time in my life.

I was sorry to read about the hair loss that your granddaughter has experienced. I hope that her hair grows back and, more importantly, that those around her give her the love and confidence she especially needs in coping with this.

QUESTIONS:
What depressing things have you picked up in the book? What positive things?

The constant financial struggles of Cerise are depressing as well as her bad choices. It is positive that Cerise had the determination to support herself and her children.

I thought it was depressing that neither Cerise nor Anna thought about the possible consequences of their actions. Neither seemed to weigh only the emotional issues nor the pregnancy risks associated with their sex lives. It is true that both were young when their first pregnancies occurred, but they just didn't seem to think before allowing themselves to be used. It didn't seem like the relationships were for love, but for satisfying the urges of their partners. Neither seemed to fully think out the options available--Anna seemed to automatically think that abortion was the best option while Cerise was given quite one-sided opinions on having the baby rather than aborting it (the helpful couple sure didn't give her much help other than persuading her to keep the baby).

What do you think will come of this fight between Cerise and Melody about the battery?
I've finished the book so know the unfortunate consequences.