Last chance to vote on a year's worth of books

Voting has been open since the end of August, and you have only one more day to vote. Anyone reading this blog is welcome to vote, so click on your favorites of these twelve ... and also your least favorites in the next poll down the sidebar.

From The Other Side of the Bridge to The Freedom Writers Diary, we've traveled the globe together. Help me remember (in the comments) where we've been.

The Other Side of the Bridge (OSB)
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (BSP)
Cold Comfort Farm (CCF)
Pictures of Hollis Woods (PHW)
In Lucia's Eyes (ILE)
People of the Book (POB)
The Camel Bookmobile (CB)
Windfalls (WF)
The Devil in the White City (DWC)
Jim the Boy (JTB)
Suite Française (SF)
The Freedom Writers Diary (FWD)

We have completed a year together, but I think that's enough ... at least for me. I'm sorry, Shirley, but the interest just isn't here. Thanks, Marylyn, for your major effort to make Book Buddies work during August. Thanks to those of you who have read and commented on books we've shared. For now, however, I have decided to devote more time to writing ... and to leading the writers in the Chattanooga region who (foolishly?) try to write the draft of a novel in the 30 days of November. Read about it on Bonnie's NaNoWriMo* 2008 blog.

Essencia Island will continue to be a place for book buddies to talk to each other, so drop by there anytime you want to chat.

Voting for MOST and LEAST enjoyable books

During September 2007, we began to gather ourselves as Book Buddies on this blog. In October 2007, we started reading and discussing books. If you are a current or former Book Buddy, you are invited to vote on the ones you liked MOST and LEAST. If you are a regular ... or even occasional ... reader of our blog, you are also welcome to vote on ones you've read, pro or con.

Please leave a comment on this post about the books, too. Tell us what you did or didn't like about a particular book. Let's see what's been good and bad about this year of plowing through books together.

Oct 2007 ~ The Other Side of the Bridge (OSB) ~ by Mary Lawson
Nov 2007 ~ The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (BSP) ~ by John Boyne
Dec 2007 ~ Cold Comfort Farm (CCF) ~ by Stella Gibbons
Jan 2008 ~ Pictures of Hollis Woods (PHW) ~ by Patricia Reilly Giff
Feb 2008 ~ In Lucia's Eyes (ILE) ~ by Arthur Japin
Mar 2008 ~ People of the Book (POB) ~ by Geraldine Brooks
Apr 2008 ~ The Camel Bookmobile (CB) ~ by Masha Hamilton
May 2008 ~ Windfalls (WF) ~ by Jean Hegland
Jun 2008 ~ The Devil in the White City (DWC) ~ by Erik Larson
Jul 2008 ~ Jim the Boy (JTB) ~ by Tony Earley
Aug 2008 ~ Suite Française (SF) ~ by Irène Némirovsky
Sep 2008 ~ The Freedom Writers Diary (FWD) ~ by The Freedom Writers with Erin Gruwell, 1999

Windfalls "A Glimpse of the World's Rough Grace" Discussion Questions

I felt that the book tried too hard to have a redemptive, wrapped-up ending come together conclusively at the end. There didn't seem to be a logical "growth" leading towards the two main characters' decisions to changes their view/way of life. They just suddenly did. And I get that these sorts of epiphanies happen. But to happen to both the main characters one right after the other seemed too pat.

1. What would YOU do if your house burned down, leaving you homeless and with no material resources at your command?

Honestly, and I feel like I'm avoiding the point of the question, I wouldn't be homeless the way Cerise is homeless if my apartment building burned down. I wouldn't have that same place to live in or those same things I had in it. But my parents, sister, and grandparents live 20 minutes away in homes with empty guest bedrooms so we'd have a place to stay. We have a good renter's insurance policy and we both earn good incomes. It would totally suck to have our apartment burn down and have to start over accumulating material possession but it wouldn't devastate our lives the way it does Cerise's.

2. Was there anything Cerise could have done to make a better life for herself?

I don't think she should have ran. She was in school and doing well. She enjoyed it and was passing her classes. Had she stayed after the fire, it is most possible that she could have found another place to live and finished her schooling, leading to a better job.

3. How was it a good thing that Anna and Cerise met each other at this time in their lives?

I think Anna needed someone to ask questions and be curious about art and Cerise needed to spend time with Anna's children and feel like someone was her friend.

Windfalls "Beyond the End of Everything" Discussion Questions

Before I looked at this discussion questions for this section, I was wondering what the questions might be. For a not particularly uplifting book so far, this section seemed especially bleak and hopeless.

1. Travis ~ The battery in his talking toy is already starting to lose strength. This is a biggie, so don't fail to notice it. Cerise noticed the toy, but did not question why the battery was running down so quickly.

It sounded a little slow, the voice wearier than it had been the day before. Even though Travis would probably have another tantrum, Cerise hoped that meant the battery Melody had got for it was finally wearing out. She hated that toy. (p. 150)

I think I may have missed this question here. I got the impression that Melody have replaced the battery in Travis's toy with the battery from the fire alarm, even though her mother told her specifically not to do that. Since that battery had already been in the fire alarm for some time maybe, it would run out more quickly.

2. Melody ~ Melody burned herself on "the red spiral of the element" (pp. 133-134), just as Cerise had burned herself "against the hot edge of the iron" (pp. 21-22), leaving "stripes on Cerise's wrists [that]turned to scabs" (p. 30). Why do people do things like this? A young woman told me once that cutting herself was less painful than her life, but I don't understand that thinking at all.

Maybe because it is easier to have some physical pain to concentrate on, even for a brief while, than having to think and be present in the unbearable pain that is their life. I have been told, by people and in school, that to them, it is a physical outlet for the emotional and mental pain they are unable to express in words or otherwise.

3. NICU ~ When Ellen was born (pp. 137-146), she was rushed to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Have you ever been in an NICU? Tell us about it.

The medical university where I went to grad school is attached to a large hospital downtown and I had several clerkships during school at that hospital as well as other hospitals in the area. I also have worked at that hospital since I graduated. So I have been in their NICU and PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) as well as the attached children's hospital during my clerkships and making deliveries for my job. It is always very sad to see the really sick children and babies, no matter how many times you see it. The air always seems filled with emotion, both the sadness and worry of the parents and their (and the staff's) hope.

4. Respirator ~ One of my granddaughters (not the one I mentioned last week) was in the NICU for the first days of her life and then was on a respirator, like Ellen. If you have experienced anything like this, please share.

The first three days of Ellen's life, the alarm on her respirator rang so many times that Anna got almost used to the sickening flush of terror that swept over her each time it sounded. (p. 153)

Again, training and working in a hospital, I have seen babies, children, and adults hooked up to life sustaining machinery. With respirators, there is an odd quality to seeing someone breath so regularly since one breathing on their own isn't quite evenly regular, even when sleeping.

5. Cerise ~ After the fire in the trailer (pp. 157-160), Travis suffered "respiratory insufficiency" (p. 164) before he died (p. 171). That's hell in itself for a mother, but can you put yourself in Cerise's shoes enough to understand what she did after that?

Someone was speaking from the doorway. It was the young nurse ... Timidly she said, "We've called Travis's father, Ms. Johnson. And sent for the social worker and the chaplain. They'll be here any minute to talk to you. Is there anything -- should I stay with you until they come?"

Savagely Cerise shook her head. She didn't want the nurse to stay with her, didn't want to have to see Jake or the chaplain or the social worker, didn't want to have to do any of the things words were used to do -- explain, defend, excuse, or soothe. She wanted to be as alone in the room as she was in her anguish, wanted only to scream and howl and moan. But the nurse's question had diminished her to silence. ...

She bent to kiss him [Travis], but the thought came that she was kissing him good-bye, and her body convulsed, propelling her back from that abyss. She turned and stumbled from the room ... (p. 172).

Yes and no. Yes, I think I can understand her reasons for feeling this way and wanting these things having been in situations where I was overwhelmed by sadness and loss. But no, because I don't have children and I don't think anyone who hasn't lost a child can imagine what it is like to lose one.

6. Homeless ~ What would it be like to know, suddenly, that you were quite literally homeless? What would you do?

It was not until she stood on the street that she realized she had nowhere to go. ... She began to walk ... (p. 173).

While I can't imagine a scenario where this could happen in my life as it is currently (too careful financial, a lot of family), that's not really the point of the question. Were I in a situation similar to Cerise, I think I'd be stunned and devastated. Cerise tries to go to the one people left she loves, Melody. I think I'd try to start over one small step at a time.

Windfalls Art Tie-In

In the Spring 2008 issue of Ms. is an article about artist Barbara Carrasco whose art work deals with skin color and oppression most specifically as it has impacted the Chicana community. One of her featured works is her 1978 "Pregnant Woman in a Ball of Yarn". I tried to Google this to include a link to the work, but had no luck. The lithograph is of a naked pregnant woman entrapped in a ball of yarn with a knitted baby bootie shown as well as an ominous knitting needle. The article descibes the work stating that the artist: "tackles the issue of unwanted pregnancy and the inevitable invisibility, entrapment and social isolation of young unwed mothers. One of her most renowned and haunting images, it captures the economic immobilization experienced by young, poor women of color who find themselves pregnant with no, or very little, emotional support. At the same time, it flies in the face of the sanctification of motherhood by Mexican and Chicana/o culture."

Both the lithograph and the description of it reminded me of Windfalls. Although both of the women in the book were probably white, many of the issues were the same. However, neither faced the "sanctification of motherhood" in their culture nor the religious issue of abortion except Cherise's connection through the clinic. Our discussions really never hit with much depth on the pregnancy decisions nor on how these issues impact different cultural groups.

A little late for the book's discussion, but the article especially this artwork was more meaningful to me because I had read Windfalls.

Windfalls "Into the Flux" Discussion Questions

What depressing things have you picked up in the book? What positive things?

Depressing things I noticed once I'd finished this section are Anna having to consider aborting a baby that she really wants because her husband has lost his job and the family might have to move and Cerise having a troublesome teenage while in school with a toddler at home and not very much money.

Positive things I noticed are Anna's love for her husband, daughter, the place where they live, and her photographs--she sees beauty in a lot of things, and Cerise's love for her children and her hopes for a better future for all of them--she won't give up.

What do you think will come of this fight between Cerise and Melody about the battery?

I think that Melody, being the contrary teenage she is and loving her little brother, will take the battery from the fire alarm to replace the one in his toy, forgetting or choosing not to put a new battery in the fire alarm afterwards. This seems to foreshadow the possibility of a fire in the trailer which they won't be warned about, perhaps leading to dire consequences.

Bad Decisions

Was there anything Cerise could have done to make a better life for herself?

If both Cerise and Anna had "just said no" or insisted on birth control, their lives could have been much different. However, that didn't happen so both were forced to make a decision on how to handle an unplanned pregnancy. Neither had a support group and made their decisions on their own. The book allowed us to explore the results their decisions and how these decisions had a major impact on the rest of their lives.

I read a study that low income girls who have children statistically succeed better than low income girls who don't have children. There are now programs that do help these girls get an education or explore other career options. These programs are not as available for those without children. This continues with not only educational opportunities, but also availability of health insurance.

After the strength and determination that Cerise showed while raising Melody, it is very unfortunate that Travis's father became part of her life. The worst mistake Cerise made was being born to a low income family, but her poor decisions compounded her problems. Although her future looked pretty dismal at the end of the book, she was still young enough and with enough determination that she might have still been able to turn her life around.

Perhaps the book could be viewed as a cautionary tale of the risks of unplanned pregnancies.

Windfalls - Ellen

2. Melody ~ Melody burned herself on "the red spiral of the element" (pp. 133-134), just as Cerise had burned herself "against the hot edge of the iron" (pp. 21-22), leaving "stripes on Cerise's wrists [that]turned to scabs" (p. 30). Why do people do things like this? A young woman told me once that cutting herself was less painful than her life, but I don't understand that thinking at all.

I don't understand this thinking either, but I do know that some people do seem to sabotage their lives so that bad things happen to them. I wonder if this is just bypassing the waiting for pain. Maybe the physical pain is something they feel they can control. And if they can control the physical pain, then they know they can endure even more emotional pain? Not worrying about scarring may indicate they don't think they have much a future anyway...

3. NICU ~ When Ellen was born (pp. 137-146), she was rushed to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Have you ever been in an NICU? Tell us about it.

I have worked in a hospital and made rounds through a NICU (checking drug carts). It was amazing that the tiny creatures were human sometimes...and that they would ever be normal, their lives seemed so strange and extreme. I think I felt less emotion over seeing those poor babies than I did an older baby or child that was very sick. Maybe it will sound callous, but I think it is because I know that those babies had a chance, had been on course for normal lives. It was something extreme that was bringing them down rather than an extreme measure to ever have them live.

4. Respirator ~ One of my granddaughters (not the one I mentioned last week) was in the NICU for the first days of her life and then was on a respirator, like Ellen. If you have experienced anything like this, please share.

After my dad's open heart surgery he had to spend the night on a respirator. We were allowed to visit him for about two minutes post op before we were sent away for the night. He'd only been out of surgery and recovered for a short time. It was hard to go into the room and see him so pale and barely alive, his chest rising and falling with the pump and hiss of the machine. He wasn't groggy though. When he looked at me I saw desperation in his eyes. I knew that being on a respirator can be torture. You feel like you are smothering, even though just the opposite is true. He grabbed for my hand. I knew that he was begging me to make someone take that respirator out.

5. Cerise ~ After the fire in the trailer (pp. 157-160), Travis suffered "respiratory insufficiency" (p. 164) before he died (p. 171). That's hell in itself for a mother, but can you put yourself in Cerise's shoes enough to understand what she did after that?

As outrageous as her behavior was, I found it totally believable. Perhaps that was just a reflection of Jean Hegland's excellent writing to have set up Cerise's personality and situation so perfectly. But I can completely understand wanting to be totally alone with such complete grief. With no one else in the world, I could imagine wanting to jump off that bridge...but I would think knowing Melody was still in the world that would keep her going...I just can understand it. I don't understand how a parent could take care of the details of paperwork and burial. I would just want to run away--run home and lock the door...but of course Cerise did not have a home. And she could not forgive Melody. I can understand if I had to keep living, that I'd have to live as someone else.

6. Homeless ~ What would it be like to know, suddenly, that you were quite literally homeless? What would you do?

It is hard to even imagine. I have so many people I could turn to. It would be so humiliating. I would think hunger would drive you to the shelters, though I'd hate the thought of having to sleep there.


1. What would YOU do if your house burned down, leaving you homeless and with no material resources at your command?

It is hard to even fathom. I'd go to my parents' house, or my brother's or sister's or cousin's...without that support however...I'd turn to a church, look for a job, for sure. Hope that I could make it until a paycheck. Probably try to get into a situation like Cerise with a temporary home, but maybe that is because of reading the book.

2. Was there anything Cerise could have done to make a better life for herself?

It seems like she could have confided in someone...but then she could not be that new person anymore...that made Honey back into Cerise. Then she would have to talk about it, face it.

3. How was it a good thing that Anna and Cerise met each other at this time in their lives?

It was good for them both, it got Anna back on track, and helped her face her past, and I think it helped remind Cerise what life could be like, gave her hope of something greater, and made her think she was strong enough to face Melody. I wonder if she would tell her about the battery.

I wonder if the loss of the family farm haunted anyone like it did me! I wanted to blame her husband for that complete loss of the past! It was like Anna's home had burned down too.

I think Jean Hegland is a beautiful sensitive writer! But I found the book very depressing in parts, almost difficult to go on with. I could not imagine how it would end, so for that and for the heartwrenching writing kept me turning the page.

Thoughts from "Beyond the End of Everything" and "A Glimpse of the World's Rough Grace"

(Aren't those section titles just terrific?!)

"Beyond the End of Everything"

While, thankfully, I have never experienced the trauma of having a baby in the NICU or on a respirator - like Anna did with Ellen - and while my husband was present and actively involved in the births of our children - unlike the fathers of Cerise's children, I could still relate so much to many of both mother's feelings at the births of their children. The burdens of motherhood are so powerfully described in this passage about Anna's feelings following Ellen's birth:

And suddenly a million threats suggested themselves to her. It was as though she were still dilated, still open and unfiltered, as though she were a lens that admitted all possible light, and every shadow. She thought of SIDS and AIDS and hidden heart defects, of strange viruses and untended swimming pools, of childhood cancers and E. coli-laden hamburgers. She remembered all the appalling numbers that filled the newspapers, the thousands of extinctions and billions of pounds of toxic chemicals that threatened the world. She thought of global warming, nuclear winter, and silent spring. Clutching the windowsill and staring down on the city stewing in all its ugly light, she wondered how she could ever feel safe again. [p. 146]

"A Glimpse of the World's Rough Grace"

I love the hope expressed in this quote about Cerise: "It was strange how much the world wanted her back. It was strange no one saw the truth of who she was" (p. 242).

What I loved best about Windfalls was its depiction of motherhood as the truly tough, gritty, and on-our-own thing it is. Anna talks to Honey/Cerise about this idea:

Honey's silence seemed like an open door. "We're all so alone, in mothering," Anna went on, her voice low and raw. "We can talk about how our lkids are doing in school and the cute things they say. We can even complain about how they're driving us nuts. But we can't talk about how much it terrifies us to love them as we do, or talk about how much we scare ourselves, trying to stay sane while we raise them. We can't talk about how much they teach us, how much they cost, us, how much we owe to them. Or- " She shrugged. "Maybe it's just me." [p. 297]

My responses to two of the questions:

• What would you do if your house burned down, leaving you homeless and with no material resources at your command?
  
  Thankfully, if my house burned down, I would have both insurance to eventually replace the house as well as money in the bank. While my family would be unable to survive very long without a regular paycheck, we do have a great deal more material resources than Cerise had. Without those, I'd still have a large family to whom I could turn for help, as well as a church community that would lend support. All of those things are blessings that I probably take for granted.



• How was it a good thing that Anna and Cerise met each other at this time in their lives?
  
  The bringing-together of Anna and Cerise was a perfect climax for this book. Symbolic of how women need other women in their lives - even women with very different lifestyles from their own - Anna's and Cerise's relationship brings healing and growth to them both.

Windfalls ~ questions for "A Glimpse of the World's Rough Grace" section

A couple of quotes stood out for me in this section:

"Where there's life, there's hope," the shelter director was always saying. But hope was a hoax, just a way of trapping people into staying alive. Hope was a mirage, a trick. Hope meant nothing, and still life ground on, still Cerise combed the streets for nooks and hidey-holes, still she went to the soup kitchen at noon to eat cheap food and scan the crowd for Barbara. ... It was a relief to be unknown and unencumbered again ... It was a relief to leave the little worries and the heartrending sorrows of other people behind. (p. 280)

Cerise let herself be lulled a little by the frogs, let time pass until finally she felt almost used to the awful ache that was her life. (p. 281)

The first tells me Cerise had given up hope, though she kept doing the things needed to stay alive, like finding a place to curl up and sleep and lining up for food so she could eat. The second quote sums up Cerise's life ... it was an awful ache. I made friends with a woman who lived in her car after an auto accident nearly killed her and caused her to lose her job. Nobody should have to live like that, but she survived and had a house and a job when I met her. Last fall I was seriously wondering if I'd end up homeless, as I continue to pay off bills and expenses we had after closing our bookstore while living on Social Security and a very small pension. While Cerise had no skills to save herself, I simply had no desire to go live with one of my children. Was that unrealistic? Probably, but that's one choice. Maybe I'm just too stubborn. As we sum up our thoughts about this book, let's talk about the skills Cerise lacked that might have helped her cope when her life fell apart. Maybe this could be one of our final questions for the book:

1. What would YOU do if your house burned down, leaving you homeless and with no material resources at your command?

2. Was there anything Cerise could have done to make a better life for herself?

3. How was it a good thing that Anna and Cerise met each other at this time in their lives?

The weekend is upon us, so mosey on over to our cyber party at Essencia Island.

Discussion on Windfalls

I check our board each day for more discussion and sure do miss hearing the insights from others.

Here are some responses from me to the questions Bonnie posted:

2. Melody ~ Melody burned herself on "the red spiral of the element" (pp. 133-134), just as Cerise had burned herself "against the hot edge of the iron" (pp. 21-22), leaving "stripes on Cerise's wrists [that]turned to scabs" (p. 30). Why do people do things like this? A young woman told me once that cutting herself was less painful than her life, but I don't understand that thinking at all.

Although I hope that I never reach the point of feeling that discouraged with life, I somewhat understand what this thinking is about. Basically, the physical pain is less than the emotional pain that they are going through. I don't know if the self-inflicted physical pain is their way to trying to draw attention to their pain to others or if it is a diversionary tactic hoping that the physical pain will make it easier to cope with the emotional pain. I suspect it is more the latter than the former as it seems that no one around cared enough to even notice the scars.

3. NICU ~ When Ellen was born (pp. 137-146), she was rushed to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Have you ever been in an NICU? Tell us about it.
4. Respirator ~ One of my granddaughters (not the one I mentioned last week) was in the NICU for the first days of her life and then was on a respirator, like Ellen. If you have experienced anything like this, please share.
The first three days of Ellen's life, the alarm on her respirator rang so many times that Anna got almost used to the sickening flush of terror that swept over her each time it sounded. (p. 153)

Although my oldest son was not in an NICU or on a respirator, he was transferred to a regional medical center when he was six days old and placed on oxygen because of the hole in his lungs. Walking around the unit and seeing all of the babies in such sad shape was very difficult. My son looked perfectly normal and I could hold him for intervals during feeding. When I expressed my sorrow to one of the nurses, she said that the babies all had a good chance of making it or they wouldn't have been transferred to the medical center. Those with no hope were not transferred. I was surprised at how hard my dear son tried to free himself from the oxygen device (sort of an upside down transparent dish tub was what was over the top of his body)by scooching out of the device. Although this was the first time the oxygen therapy had worked at this medical center, it worked for Brendan and he did not have to have the surgery that was scheduled to remove a third of his lungs. We were sent home and he lived what we thought was a healthy life, but only for 29 years when he died unexpectedly of cardiomyopathy.

5. Cerise ~ After the fire in the trailer (pp. 157-160), Travis suffered "respiratory insufficiency (p. 164) before he died (p. 171). That's hell in itself for a mother, but can you put yourself in Cerise's shoes enough to understand what she did after that?
I can understand why she wanted to get away from everyone. I could relate all too well. Except I was fortunate in that I had people around me who did care and who also loved my son. It is better to have people around who care yet at the same time, I can appreciate why she would just want to get away from all the memories of the tragedy and suffering that she had just gone through.

6. Homeless ~ What would it be like to know, suddenly, that you were quite literally homeless? What would you do?
It would be horrible. If I knew of no one who could help me, I would probably seek a homeless shelter.


I hope that other posters will start posting. I sure miss the dialogue.

Shirley

Windfalls ~ questions for "Beyond the End of Everything" section

*** SPOILER ***
If you are still waiting for the book to arrive,
don't read this post until later.
This was a very hard section to read, and I have several areas for our discussion.

1. Travis ~ The battery in his talking toy is already starting to lose strength. This is a biggie, so don't fail to notice it. Cerise noticed the toy, but did not question why the battery was running down so quickly.

It sounded a little slow, the voice wearier than it had been the day before. Even though Travis would probably have another tantrum, Cerise hoped that meant the battery Melody had got for it was finally wearing out. She hated that toy. (p. 150)

2. Melody ~ Melody burned herself on "the red spiral of the element" (pp. 133-134), just as Cerise had burned herself "against the hot edge of the iron" (pp. 21-22), leaving "stripes on Cerise's wrists [that]turned to scabs" (p. 30). Why do people do things like this? A young woman told me once that cutting herself was less painful than her life, but I don't understand that thinking at all.

3. NICU ~ When Ellen was born (pp. 137-146), she was rushed to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Have you ever been in an NICU? Tell us about it.


4. Respirator ~ One of my granddaughters (not the one I mentioned last week) was in the NICU for the first days of her life and then was on a respirator, like Ellen. If you have experienced anything like this, please share.

The first three days of Ellen's life, the alarm on her respirator rang so many times that Anna got almost used to the sickening flush of terror that swept over her each time it sounded. (p. 153)

5. Cerise ~ After the fire in the trailer (pp. 157-160), Travis suffered "respiratory insufficiency" (p. 164) before he died (p. 171). That's hell in itself for a mother, but can you put yourself in Cerise's shoes enough to understand what she did after that?

Someone was speaking from the doorway. It was the young nurse ... Timidly she said, "We've called Travis's father, Ms. Johnson. And sent for the social worker and the chaplain. They'll be here any minute to talk to you. Is there anything -- should I stay with you until they come?"

Savagely Cerise shook her head. She didn't want the nurse to stay with her, didn't want to have to see Jake or the chaplain or the social worker, didn't want to have to do any of the things words were used to do -- explain, defend, excuse, or soothe. She wanted to be as alone in the room as she was in her anguish, wanted only to scream and howl and moan. But the nurse's question had diminished her to silence. ...

She bent to kiss him [Travis], but the thought came that she was kissing him good-bye, and her body convulsed, propelling her back from that abyss. She turned and stumbled from the room ... (p. 172).

6. Homeless ~ What would it be like to know, suddenly, that you were quite literally homeless? What would you do?

It was not until she stood on the street that she realized she had nowhere to go. ... She began to walk ... (p. 173).

WF

Bonnie noted: "It's interesting that what we notice in reading concerns whatever is going on in our lives at that time."
I have also found too that what really stands out in reading are things that are relevant to me at that time in my life.

I was sorry to read about the hair loss that your granddaughter has experienced. I hope that her hair grows back and, more importantly, that those around her give her the love and confidence she especially needs in coping with this.

QUESTIONS:
What depressing things have you picked up in the book? What positive things?

The constant financial struggles of Cerise are depressing as well as her bad choices. It is positive that Cerise had the determination to support herself and her children.

I thought it was depressing that neither Cerise nor Anna thought about the possible consequences of their actions. Neither seemed to weigh only the emotional issues nor the pregnancy risks associated with their sex lives. It is true that both were young when their first pregnancies occurred, but they just didn't seem to think before allowing themselves to be used. It didn't seem like the relationships were for love, but for satisfying the urges of their partners. Neither seemed to fully think out the options available--Anna seemed to automatically think that abortion was the best option while Cerise was given quite one-sided opinions on having the baby rather than aborting it (the helpful couple sure didn't give her much help other than persuading her to keep the baby).

What do you think will come of this fight between Cerise and Melody about the battery?
I've finished the book so know the unfortunate consequences.

Windfalls ~ questions for "Into the Flux" section

It's interesting that what we notice in reading concerns whateve is going on in our lives at that time. I noticed this section about Cerise brushing her daughter's hair. See if you can figure out why this part stood out for me:

"On weekdays Melody had to brush her own hair. But Saturdays Cerise could fix it for her. On Saturdays she could take her time, glorying in the golden heft and gloss of her daughter's hair, brushing until it shone and crackled, and then, when it lay across Melody's shoulders and down her back like a tamed waterfall, trying out the styles she'd imagined all week as she dusted and mopped" (p. 62).

You would never guess. My 8-year-old granddaughter has lost her hair, which used to be long and blonde like Melody's, cascading over her shoulders. Now she wears a ballcap or a hairband around her baldness (as in this recent photo of her), which is caused by Alopecia areata totalis. Otherwise, she looks like a newborn yet to grow hair.

All in all, this was a depressing section to read, maybe because things in the world today seem as bad as in the book. We have rising gas prices and food priced beyond the ability of some people to pay for it; the book has a pregnant Anna whose husband has lost his job, and Cerise who is back in school with a rebellious daughter who has been fired from McDonald's.

QUESTIONS:
What depressing things have you picked up in the book? What positive things?

What do you think will come of this fight between Cerise and Melody about the battery?

"Don't worry, Travie," Melody called after them as she opened the refrigerator. "Meedee'll get you a new battery. I promise" (p. 126).

Windfalls' "Because" Discussion Questions

Does anybuddy remember the 1970s?

I was born in 1980. So, nope. I'm a young'un.

When were you in school?

I was in college and grad school from 1999 to 2005. In some sense, I'm still in school as I am working (very) part-time towards my MBA.

Can you relate to either young woman's situation?

I am relating to Anna a lot right now. I've never been pregnant or had an abortion. But I totally get where she is coming from not being able to imagine being a mother or wanting a child. I still feel that way. I don't dislike children. I love my young cousins and was so excited when my little sister got pregnant. I'm very scared that I feel this way actually. I would have thought by now that I'd want children. And I worry that I never will, that is feel like I want children. This has been on my mind a lot lately given that my sister is trying to get pregnant and we are very close. She'd like us to be pregnant and have our children together.

Do you know someone who has lost a baby?

The above mentioned sister, Mary, has lost two babies in the past two years. The first was a tubular pregnancy and she bled out and had to have emergency surgery. The second one just stopped growing and she didn't miscarry and had to have a DNC. The doctor says the two incidents aren't related and she should have no trouble getting pregnant again and carrying a baby to term. She is currently trying to get pregnant again.

Do you know someone who raised a child alone?

My cousin, Matt, has a child out of wedlock who must now be around four. But she lives with her mother in Michigan.

One of my close girl friends in grad school divorced her husband our third year of school. He was very abusive, both physically and emotionally. She had kept going back to him after separating several time while we were in school because she hadn't the money to support herself and her son and she had no one to care for her son while she was in class or studying. Her son was about 10 at the time. After the divorce, I remember her bring her son to B&N and the library when she studied. He was a wonderful kid and very well-behaved. I loved to spoil him with little things. My friend, she was a great mother. She and her son had a good relationship and he was lucky to have her for a mother.

I may be opening a can of worms here, but what's your opinion about abortion?

To be brief, I am pro-choice though I do not know if I would personally have an abortion. I was brought up very pro-life.

Questions from "Because"

Does anybuddy remember the 1970s? When were you in school?

I graduated from high school in 1982, so I guess I'm about the same age as Anna and Cerise. I don't remember a lot about the 1970s, at least not until near the end. I do remember the controversy about the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) - which failed to be ratified by the extended deadline of June 1982. The women's movement, Roe v. Wade, and ERA are all important parts of U.S. history, and as a feminist, I have read widely about this period of time, even if I don't have a lot of personal memories of it.

Can you relate to either young woman's situation? Do you know someone who has lost a baby? Do you know someone who raised a child alone?

I have never personally experienced either Anna's or Cerise's circumstance. One of my sisters lost her first baby in 1999 - just weeks before my youngest child was born - in a situation similar to that of Anna's grandmother, and another sister lost her six-month-old adopted son to SIDS at the end of 2006, so I do have some sense of the story's feeling of loss. I can't think of anyone I know well who has raised a child alone without having been first married to the child's father, even if only briefly. My own mother raised seven daughters as a single parent, though, so I have a good frame of reference for some of Cerise's experience.

I may be opening a can of worms here, but what's your opinion about abortion?

On the 34th anniversary of Roe v. Wade (January 22, 2007), I wrote a post about my view that a woman's right to choice is non-negotiable. The post is titled "Both Pro-Life and Pro-Choice." I don't think I explain my viewpoint here any better than I did there, so please go check it out.

WF ~ answering the discussion questions

Ellen D. commented:

I thought it a shame that the grandmother's revelation did not somehow come before Anna's abortion, that would have been her only chance to rethink the decision. I wanted Anna to think about her decision more (though it was more realistic that she did not), so that Anna could see that even after a lifetime, she won't stop thinking about the baby that could have been. It seems Anna never really considered anything but abortion. Honestly, from her point of view, I think that is what I would have done in that point of my life--but I am so grateful that never was an issue. Someone that age college/career oriented would let a medical procedure and a few yucky days of healing stop her...they think they can forget...they forget biology...evolution...however, in hindsight...so even if I see that Anna did not think about this nearly enough...but at that point in her life, as smart and educated as she was, it was all about her. She could only see one future.

Interesting that her grandmother's revelation was not devastating to Anna--the knowledge that the aborted baby would not disappear from memory--but healing to Anna. I guess for the first time she realized she was not alone?

The uneducated Cerise wanted the baby to right all the wrongs of her childhood...and frankly, she wasn't capable (?) of envisioning a future like Anna's. She just wanted someone to love her. But so far, she seems like a pretty good mother.

I was 8 in 1973. I didn't know what the word abortion meant until I was probably 12 or 13. It didn't sound so awful then. I think that is like seeing it from the perspective of Anna. That a teen pregnancy would ruin your vision of your life. You think about yourself in those years, not anyone else, and certainly not being a mother (very out of fashion for a college woman in the 70s and 80s to think about a family). Now seeing it from the point of view of a mother--I would opt for life every single time. I would raise my daughter's baby. They are all a blessing.

My view on abortion: it is not a government issue, it is a personal one. Why the big stink? It is not something that affects my life. If you want an abortion, go right ahead, if you can find a doctor who will do it for you. But any doctor shouldn't have to perform abortions if he doesn't believe it is right or safe.

I do know a girl that is raising twins without a husband, but she is living with her parents and so it is like she has 3 parents. It is a loving situation and I think the babies will grow up fine. I have a cousin that had a miscarriage and am always surprised she remembers her lost baby's due date a day of sadness and is certain that the baby she lost was her girl (she has 4 boys).

Windfalls

After canning beets all day, Anna's grandmother told her she'd lost a daughter at birth -- her only daughter -- whom she'd named Lucy, from the Latin word for "light." She'd just told Anna about her "conceit" about canning, that she imagined herself "preserving light, you know, caught in those vegetables and fruits -- I was putting up light in those glass jars, saving sunlight down cellar until we needed it, in the dark of winter" (p. 56).


This is an amazing quote and a great reason for me to want to read this book! How many people would remember that sugar is really stored light energy and express it this way? This appeals to this retired biology teacher!

DQs from Bonnie

Does anybuddy remember the 1970s? ? Of course I do. My children were 8, 6, and newborn in 1975.

When were you in school? I graduated from high school in 1961; college in 1964; grad school in 1985

Can you relate to either young woman's situation? Do you know someone who has lost a baby? My daughter lost 3 babies early after in utero implants, and now we have beautiful Olivia on the fourth try

Do you know someone who raised a child alone? Isn't that something! I don't personally know a single parent??? How can that be in this day and age?

I may be opening a can of worms here, but what's your opinion about abortion? I favor abortion as a mother's choice if it is done early, early in the development of the embryo. I do not favor abortion of a fetus that is more advanced in development

I want to use color for my post, but can't find it???

Opening Questions

Does anybuddy remember the 1970s? When were you in school? Can you relate to either young woman's situation? Do you know someone who has lost a baby? Do you know someone who raised a child alone? I may be opening a can of worms here, but what's your opinion about abortion?

Wow! Bonnie, I like the way you are just jumping right in there.

Yes, I remember the 1970's. I graduated from high school in 1966, married in 1969, and was in college during the 1970's. Although I cannot relate personally to either young woman's experience, I remember quite well in the 1960's when several people I knew "had to get married". Giving one's baby up for adoption (an excellent, but heart wrenching book on this is Ann Fessler's The Girls Who Went Away—The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade) or getting married were the common options available as I don't know of any women during my teens and early twenties who opted to raise their children on their own. Abortions were illegal and I only heard of one woman who had an abortion (a divorced neighbor with five children who had an affair with a married man and had a very risky abortion at a motel about 80 miles from our city).

I know of several women who have suffered late term miscarriages or still births. Such a loss would be very difficult. My sister was irritated when one of my friends who lost her only baby shortly after his birth many years ago related it to my 29 year old son's death last summer. My sister felt that there was no comparison. I think that the sorrow would be just as deep. I was blessed that I had my son for 29 years. My friend not only did not get to know her son, but never had other children. It was a major loss for her and I have appreciated her comfort that she has given to me--instead of ignoring it after a few weeks like so many have, she will sometimes ask how I am doing. She told me recently that on her son's birthday, she and her husband take off from work and go someplace special in his memory.

I think abortion is a very tragic option. However, in some cases, it is the "best" of all of the rotten choices available because of financial, physical, or emotional situations or because of the health condition of the unborn baby. It is not an option to be taken lightly, but I think it is an option that should be available.

At first, I thought the book was slow because of its descriptive style. However, it soon picked up and the character portrayals certainly make one feel a part of each of their lives. I have received another book from the library (Little Heathens--Hard Times and High Spirits on An Iowa Farm During the Great Depression by Mildred Kalish) that I won't be able to renew since it is a newer book so I have put Windfalls aside to try to get this Little Heathens read before it is due.

I loved the meaning given to the chapter title "Because".